The Things I Can't Do (but I think I Can)
I can't decorate a cake I can't I can't do a chocolate drip. It's supposed to look messy but it looks like shit I can't do a buttercream. I don't even know the differences between them. Italian, French... fuck em' all. I can't ice a cake. And when the buttercream is shit, there's no way the icing will be any different than shit. I can't even unmold a cake. And I spent $30 yesterday in a stupid mold. I can't boil water and sugar. Well, I can, but I can't do anything with it afterwards. I can't work with chocolate, no matter how good or expensive it is. I can't use an offset. I can't use a scraper. I can't use a cake comb. A Turntable? I can't I can't pipe. I did it once. I can't now I can't say no I can't make meringue. Can't tell if the peaks are soft or hard. Can't tell which one I like better: the French, the Italian or the Swiss. Fuck em' all I can't crack an egg. I can't crack a...